reality
by Matteney101
Summary: What will happen when matthew p. And courteney c. Are faced with the reality of it all? And how will they deal with it?
1. Chapter1

court: *after many relationships fail, Courteney finally had a special thing with snow patrols, Irish Johnny McDaid. things were going well for them, besides the ups and downs they'd gone through, what with the cancellation of the weddings and all. but no matter what, she still had the life she had wanted...a loving partner and her amazing daughter coco. it wasn't just her she was happy for. all of her friend's co stars were doing so well recently, however...some photos were surfacing her Instagram feed lately..of Matthew. and she didn't feel good about them*

Matty: pictures surfaced. He didn't look too good, but he felt fine. Or did he? Here he was 49 just about to turn 50 and nothing... his 50 years of life ge expected more... a wife, some kids. After his last relationship w Lizzy ended in 2012.. he's bounced around from girl to girl. Not ready for a relationship with them, his only girl the ONLY girl for him his best friend of many hadn't spoken to him in years. It broke his heart he knew why Johnny. He couldn't do anything about it she's happy and she made her choice but he'll still love her always.. the media made him feel worse about himself talking about how ungroomed he was. Could he ever catch a break?

court: *she felt her heart had just jumped out of her chest, seeing him like that. she knew that he wasn't as bad as the media had made him out to be, but sometimes he wasn't always the best at contacting back. Jennifer and herself had tried to reach him but they ended up in voicemail, and visiting his house hadn't worked in the past either..but she did know that he wasn't as bad as they were making him. it hurt her heart, wanting to just pull him into a hug like she used to be able to do so easily. but it wasn't always just because he was hard to contact. it was..her perfect new relationship partner...johnny*

Matty: I mean sure she'd try to reach out... but he didn't want to ruin what she had w john- he couldn't even finish his name w out choking up... she was finally happy considering, after all, that's happened with David in the past. Hed kept up with her on Instagram not liking any of her posts w his private acc.. he didn't want her to know it was him so he just looked at her posts.. my god each picture she posts she looks more and more beautiful. And coco oh man she looks just like her mother and all her friend's posts have truly made him laugh out loud and reminisce on those days. The good days. When it was still Matthew and Courteney, Monica and Chandler. I hope she knows I'm calling out for her spiritually, I want her here

court: each post she would post. she hoped he would see it somehow. she knew of his private account, she followed it...but he didn't follow back. he had no posts or no profile picture..she never got why he didn't post, he was hilariously funny, and he only let the ones he deeply cared about follow him..so he had no reason to feel bad about himself on there. but he never did. maybe she felt so bad about him not posting is because she missed him. like seeing his face would be a way to see how he was behind the screen. like how long-distance relations-...

Matty: he promised himself next time she contacted him he would answer... even though Johnny would hate him, even more, he had to.

court: she'd had enough. another post was surfacing about how bad his health was and how he only had blah blah blah months to live. it was all bullshit. these "insiders" knew fuck all. but she couldn't just ignore them because they were about someone she cared about it. someone she once even...she looked over to johnny who was glued to The Godfather on the tv. she slowly pecked his cheek and told him she had to go to the bathroom. "ding pauses it, I'll be back soon!" she ran off, yanking her phone out of her pocket, got up her contacts and tapped on his contact. she was doing it this time and she didn't care what anyone had to say.

she tapped his number and waited; he didn't answer the first time..so she tried again..and again...and again. finally, when she was going to give up, something inside her told her she needed to try again, so she did..and it started to ring*

Matty: * he was asleep and his phone was on silent as he slowly got up he saw that he had multiple missed calls from a familiar person. His... person just before he was about to call back it began to ring again." Oh god uh " he didn't know what to do but he knew what he HAD to do so he answered and put the phone up to his ear and waited to hear the voice he hadn't heard in a long time

Matty: "matty?" She asked calling out to him, she sounded more beautiful than last time... a million responses played in his head and he just responded with " hey court..." now knowing what else to say.. clearly an unfamiliar void between them something different

court: *she bit her lip nervously, shifting her eyes to the floor..waiting for a reply. she didn't know what was worse. waiting for a reply from someone and not knowing if you were going to get it..or waiting for a reply from someone knowing you're GOING to get it* "hey court" *her face lit up, like the lights being switched on after New York's power outing and everything was alive* "matty, oh my god, matty! it's so good to hear your voice, oh gosh..matty..." *she said, tears nearly even forming in her eyes, her breathing heavy. she pushed her hair back and put the lid down, and curled herself up to the toilet, hugging her knees*

Matty: " hey since when do you cry? " he joked not knowing if he should. " it's... it feels so amazing to hear you too, I just want to uh- * tears forming in eyes* I'm sorry for any pain I caused- between you and your.. boyfriend * not wanting to say his name * but I hope you've been happy you and coco.. it's all you deserve ofc " he needed to make her smile before the news that had 6months.. would be broken

court: *she giggled, she couldn't help it* Nah... I only cry when my boyfriend says he doesn't like my massages!" *hearing him do that thing where he rambles about how much I deserve made her feel so..nostalgic?? for some reason. he'd always be the one person that she never felt bad about herself when around him. it's like he had an invisible force that just blocked all bad thoughts and vibes. he was amazing that way, and she truly missed it so much* "thank you matty..but anyways, how are you..you know, how are things?" *she asked, trying to sound casual, lowkey..like she hadn't just read 6 articles about his long yellow fingernails, scruffy hair and unhygienic clothes..and about his life span*

Matty: " how are things?" *Oh well ya know I'm dying and there's that... * he couldn't tell her... at least not now and at least not like an idiot * " things have been wonderful" * shed be able to see right through that* " well, things have been okay, i'll be 50 in a couple of days so there's that.. man we're all getting old. You still look 25 meanwhile I look 55 " he joked only half-serious. But he wasn't lying she still looked 25.. just beautiful " how are you? "

court: *she felt her body fall with relief when he said he was doing ok, but somewhere she still felt tense..like she knew that things weren't going so great for him. that he..lying..avoiding it so he wouldn't hurt her, but..it would hurt anyway. she always hurt when he wasn't there with her. even Johnny couldn't fix that. but hearing him continue to joke, she tried to tell herself he couldn't be that bad. so she cleared her throat and started to laugh along with him* "I wish! 25 you mean..god what I'd do to be 25 again, back on friends. that was the time of my life. sure things weren't perfect for me, in fact, things are A LOT better now..but idk... I just don't feel like doing anything will measure up to that time..especially since I could see you there" *she quickly panicked, realizing what she'd just said, and tried to change the topic* "one of the things I miss most about the days is how there was no internet. I mean, there was but it wasn't as crazy as it is today.. "like..seriously. the stuff those online news tabloids write. it's bonkers. they tried to say I was faking my friendship with Jennifer for..clout? what even is clout? isn't that like a disease or something? anyways, they write some crazy stuff about us cast lately. especially...*her voice trailed off..closing her eyes and gulping she pulled the nerve to say..* "you...they-they write crazy shit about you matty. and sometimes it scares me. these so-called "insiders" I mean, I know they're full of shit but..sometimes it hits a nerve. especially photos. I just want to make sure you're..you're ok" *she felt him breathing down the phone, probably unsure of what to say. she needed to break up the tension* "like seriously, this "insider" or something said you were gonna die! you!" *she laughed, as it faded to nervous laughter* "but..but its false right? I mean..you said you're fine?..right?" *she couldn't keep herself together, fidgeting, biting her nails. she was scared*

Matty: trying to avoid the question he just answered with " haha yea they do... yea I miss the days to, seeing you every day. You were the reason why they were so greats *saying matter of factly *

court: *something was wrong? why didn't he..quickly reassure her. tell her he was completely fine. that he wasn't gonna...* "matty*

Matty: once again trying to avoid the question, hopefully, one last time " and you said the Internet sucks idk the posts you've been making lately have been great your sense of humor still gets me and you look... so so stunning court.."

court: *she couldn't hear all this. it wasn't the same. she didn't want to hear how good she was, how much she deserved blah blah, she wasn't the one who needed to be saved this time. she was getting frustrated. she couldn't keep it in. he was avoiding something that she needed to know because she was going to explode* "Matthew, cut the shit. tell me now, are they lying? are they bullshitting-...*her breath was shaky and her eyes were beginning to sting with tears* "matty..pls-" *she sighs, exhausted*

Matty: " well because.. because. Idk it is I mean I know a couple of people who wouldn't mind all my enemies got lucky this time. *joking* you've been okay w/o me this long I guarantee you'll be fine w/o me court. But I have something else to uh tell you. And I don't know when or if I'll see you again. But know that I love you. Like more than a friend I deeply love and have always been in love with you. And how I would give anything to go back and tell you before it wasn't too late. " if I would've known how stupid I was then. What I would do to change it all if it meant having you.. being w you"

court: "i- i-...you think it's been easy without you. but knowing you were out there- i-it made it easier. I've always..I've always known you loved me. because I've been so in love with you and I just didn't want to admit it but fuck it. I wish you'd told me, but I also wish I had told you, or myself. I tried to deny it and now I can't even remember why I did that. I've been hurting us both, and now that you- *she couldn't even say it, it would make it real..but it was real. like a fucking nightmare. the worst kind. maybe she was stuck in a nightmare and johnny was going to wake her up and say "hey you were kicking me in your sleep silly" and then she was going to ring Matthew and he was going to be just fine. but that wasn't going to happen. she had to accept it, no matter how much it hurt* "matty... I can't live in a world without you. you've been the only person I've felt..like I've felt like something around. maybe the only person I'll ever l-" *just then she heard a knock at the door*

Matty: as she continued to speak, the tears just rolled down his face and just before he was about to atop her and tell her she shouldn't blame herself because none of it was on her there was a knock…

Whos at the door? Chapter two will reveal all.

Also, from the writers (2) this is just a made up story not intended to bash or manipulate anyone.

So please if you hate it, then keep scrolling. If you love matteney and you love Angst then stuck around because there is a lot more to come!!


	2. Chapter2

Matty: as she continued to speak, the tears just rolled down his face and just before he was about to stop her and tell her she shouldn't blame herself because none of it was on her. Then there was a knock…

johnny: "court?? Courteney! Courteney answer me? *he tried to barge in, but the door was locked. he banged repeatedly* "Courteney.. im- please! are you okay? say one word please, anything! I need to know you're...just let me in. what's going on, love? please..."

court: *she held her breath. she lowered the volume on her phone. huddled up on the toilet, she let the tears stream as he banged on the door. she could hear how scared he was, that she wasn't safe. but she was the one ok..it was matty who wasn't and it was breaking her heart. she sat her phone down on the floor and unlocked the door

Matty: he heard panic set out of Johnny. The door banging etc." court I'm so so sorry. I- " tired of causing problems he debated whether or not to just hang up... and have this be the last

court: *opening up the door, she saw johnny's face drop with relief. when she saw him, her legs gave up and she collapsed into his arms. she tried to hold onto him but she was so weak and the numb, the only thing she could feel was him lifting her. he grabbed onto her face and looked into her eyes*

johnny: "Courteney! court babe look at me, please! what happened!!"

court: *she held onto him as she felt his hands move her face into his direction. what was she doing? she was wasting time sobbing all over johnny, instead of talking to the one person she needed to the most. she took a deep breath, gathered herself together, pulling herself up, with support from a stunned and shocked johnny* "I need you to leave. for 5 minutes even... I just need time to-" *just then she saw that he was staring at her phone*

johnny:"..Courteney..why are you talking to Matthew"

Matty: " why are you talking to Matthew " that surely brought back flashbacks to their last conversation and it had led to not seeing each other since... " Johnny I'm sorry, I'll hang up. Bye court it. It was good to talk to you again. I don't want to cause trouble " just then he started crying even more and looked down at his phone almost pressing the "end call" button

court: *she spun around, hearing the end of call beeps* "no..no- no no no NO FUCK!" she screamed, crashing down to the floor. she picked up the phone seeing her home screen..her and johnny. her other hand fell to the floor as she lowered closer to the floor, her nose now touching it. she was sobbing uncontrollably, her other hand had now fallen too and her phone slipped right out of her hand. she wasn't quite saying words, but you could hear faint "Matthew" and "no" being repeated over and over. she could now feel johnny pulling her off the floor. she couldn't even fight him. she was weak and broken. he lifted her out the room and laid her down on her bed where she faced into her pillow and screamed. like she could scream it all away. she felt johnny sit on the edge of the bed, as she stroked her hair. her breathing started to quicken "court?" she hard faint calls for johnny. she was having a panic attack..something she hadn't had in years. court: *she calmed down(ish) as johnny shhhd her and held her. but she'd never be ok after Matthew*

Matty: " goddammit Matthew. What have you done? What have you done? WHY couldn't you just man up " he looked at the glass of water next to him picking it up and throwing it against the wall, putting his hands in his lap. Beginning to cry. He needed her sm right now. She always brought him off of the ledge. When he'd gone to rehab in 97' shed write him letters every day. Rn he needed her. Death wasn't something he was afraid of hell for all he knew, w/o her he'd already been dead. W/o her he died along time ago.

Johnny: the last 10 minutes have been a nightmare. It went from a flirty movie night between the two to court pounding the floor sobbing- he was so confused about what was going on and why was she talking to... to him. He hated him so much. He's always known the love that went on between the two so he had to put a stop to it. It was all fine, she's here now balling over a phone call. What the hell was it even about! But he had to be there for her. " hey shhh. Court it's okay, whatever terrible thing he said to you on the phone. Fuck him, don't let his rude words do this to you. You're better than that " hed said this w the thought that they'd gotten into an argument.. not knowing truly just how serious the call was

court: *she was still so heartbroken, she felt like someone had reached into her heart and yanked it out of her. but Johnny's comfort put her to ease. she lay on the bed as she stroked her hair, her eyes half-open, red, sore and still filled with tears. she felt like a baby, being shhhd to sleep. but then johnny said something...and she knew her night of hell had just begun* "f-..fuck him?" *she breathlessly said, glaring at him. "what do you mean..' fuck him"

Johnny: " yea fuck him. Look he's broken your heart again. He's such an idiot. I'm sorry that all he's done is hurt you. No more I'm gonna call him and tell him to never call or speak of your name again" still not knowing the nature of the phone call.

court: *she couldn't believe her fucking ears. what the fuck was he chatting about. he knew fuck all to do with the situation yet he was going on and on about him "hurting her". he had never put one bit of "hurt" on her ever..at least not in a mean spiteful way. he's done more for her than anyone on the whole planet, made her feel like she was special, important..worth something. and he was putting shame on his name. on his name that would be leave-..she couldn't control her anger, he wouldn't stop speaking. it was like his voice was daggers through her brain. her breathing quickened, and she felt like she was overheating. she didn't know how to stop it unless she-...there was a sharp loud sound. her eyes were closed..but she knew what had just happened. she opened her eyes to see johnny standing shocked as her hand was held out. she had just slapped him*

Johnny: he stood there in shock. His face was stinging. She had just- he couldn't- even believe it. Wtf " Courteney what the fuck mate what was THAT FOR!? " shocked confused and in pain

court: "because you're fucking b-bullshit!!" she screamed out at him, not even caring about how much his "stingy red face" hurt. she hurt way more than anyone..well anyone except Matthew*

Johnny:" because you're my girl. AND HE'S TRIED TO BLOODY RUIN THIS RELATIONSHIP BEFORE. Ofc when it comes down to him I want to know why youre speaking to him. My god"

court: "you..know nothing. nothing. he hasn't tried to ruin our relationship in fact..he put his feelings aside and fucking helped our relationship. when I canceled our wedding he came to me, talked it through with me. helped me see that you" *she pushed him but he was strong he hardly moved* "you, you fucking dumbass..are the one I want to be with. so shut the absolute fuck up"

Johnny: Then why on earth are you sobbing over him. For heaven's sake! God Johnny: stunned. " he's- he's what.."

court: *she couldn't say it again. in fact, this was the first time she'd said it. she felt numb..like she was going to be sick. she started to walk, feeling totally out of it. like she was walking through wonderland. maybe she was having a nightmare after all. but she could hear johnny calling after her. it felt..it felt like she was going to- *she hit the floor*

Johnny: still mad about his sabotage in the past. He was sorry for her. Knowing all that hed been there for... she hit the floor he ran to her " its okay. Its gonna be okay "

court: *her eyes were shut, she banged her head pretty hard, and she still felt like she was going to be sick. she held onto johnny, sobbing uncontrollably*

court: "you'll be ok. I won't..matty won't" she whispered

court: *she didn't even have enough energy to fight him. she couldn't. she wanted to squeal at him. tell him to just fuck off with that "we're ok" bullshit. but she was just deflated, cold. her eyes started to shut, she tried to fight them open but she couldn't* "matty" *she whispered, falling asleep*

Matty: I need her here. He picked up the phone, texting " court, Idk when or if I'll ever hear from you again. * the thought made him shiver * but I need you, you're the only one who knows rn. I didn't mean to start anything between you and your boyfriend. But I love you and right now I need you. I keep thinking about those letters you used to send me back in 97 and your words are the only thing that got me through there. So if you can,... come over? "

johnny: he noticed that she'd fallen asleep on his lap, he lifted her and carried her into their bedroom and tucked her into their bed. she looked so peaceful..even though he knew she'd have bad dreams, he continued to play with her hair and stroke her face, hoping maybe his warmth would make her have happy dreams..but just then, he heard the buzzing in the next room and he knew exactly what it was and who it was.

Johnny (pretending to be courteney) : hi!! I'm sorry, but I and johnny are actually about to head to bed. we had a longggg talk, and we both decided it'd be best for us to cut contact. this is a horrible time for both of us and it hurts my heart so much. but johnny made me realize that if we started visiting and talking then it would only hurt me more when you...*he didn't quite know how to word this*...uhm when you..well yeah we're at a good point right now, I wouldn't want to get closer: besides, I wouldn't want to disrespect johnny, you can understand that, right? I'll always love *he started to backspace and retyped* I'll always have such a connection with you..but it's time for us to move forward and to look past this. I don't think I can visit you, but I wish you well..sending love from Courteney x *he stroked his chin and sighed* sending love from Courteney and johnny x *he sent it and deleted it straight away, and also deleting the message that Matthew had sent to her.

johnny: *he walked into their bedroom with her phone in his hand* "I'm so sorry" *he sighed, whispering as he sat next to her. "I just..i don't want you to be hurt by this" *he kissed her on the forehead, climbed into bed and shut off the light. she'd never had to know that he wanted to talk to her again and if she tried to contact him, he wouldn't reply anymore most likely he looked like the villain, but he was only trying to protect her from getting hurt. He wasn't going to let him hurt her again. even if she said he didn't hurt her. he did. he always has and what's worse is he hurts himself in the process. he sighed to himself and turned off the light*

Chapter 2 mates, hope you enjoyed. The angst only gets more real very very soon. Also remember this is A MADE UP STORY no disrespect to matthew, courteney or johnny.

The writers


	3. Chapter3

Matty: he waited and waited... and waited eventually falling asleep, waking up the next morning checking his phone. Still nothing, but he needed her so bad... so he texted her again. " hey court, you uh get my text last night? "

court: she woke up the next morning with a banging headache. she rolled over to see johnny's side of the bed was empty. he'd already gone..she just didn't know where. she lay for a moment staring at the roof, last night was a blur..didn't remember much, except for one thing. she immediately turned around and looked at her bedside table and grabbed her phone, looking up her text messages she saw that matty had sent her something. "hey court, you uh get my test last night?" utterly confused, she tried to remember if she did. the last thing she remembered was crying on the floor and johnny sitting next to her. nothing about a text, and if she would've gotten it..she would have replied surely? she scrolled up their messages to see that he didn't even send her a text. she clicked her tongue tapping on the back of her phone, unsure of what to say. maybe he was so emotional last night he thought he sent her a text. but she didn't want to say that.."hey matty, no i didn't...sorry! what did it say?"

Matty: asleep... he heard a ding coming from his phone was it her!? He thought to himself. He picked up his phone, it was her a sigh of relief typing back... " i... uh all i said was how much I need you, i dont want go cause any problems with you and Johnny. But courteney i love you, no one else knows what's going on with me rn. I couldn't stop thinking about how good you used to make me feel in rehab with all of the letters, they were the only things that had kept me alive in that part of my life. You're the only one who understands. You know where I live, if you can i need you. But if Johnnys not going to allow you, thats... okay to * screaming in his head FICK HIM* "

court: she was waiting for her coffee, her hair in a messy bun and one of johnny's shirts. she rubbed her eyes and suddenly her phone buzzed. she grabbed her phone and she knew exactly who it was. she read it, read it again. and again. unable to process it. she sighed, exhausted and stared out her window. she didn't feel upset because it was so early but she still didn't feel ok. she looked down at her framed photo of her and johnny. she shook her head..she couldn't..she couldn't she cou-..."fuck it" she sighed, rolling her eyes and grabbing her keys.

Matty: all he could think about was why Johnny had ever took her away, why she'd let him... filming ct w her was this amazing thing and in a blink of an eye was over. He started to tear up... I miss her.

court: she jumped into the car and started to drive. she didn't know why she was doing this, but she had to see him

Matty: sitting by himself on the couch. A usual occurrence, this time a little different he heard a car pull into his driveway. He stood up to go see who it is, but before he could answer the door he heard banging from a familiar voice " open the door matty. It's me, please " he ran towards the door and opened it. Seeing her after all these years. If only it was under better circumstances. She was beautiful and in that moment he forgot everything. He forgot

court: she raced out of the car, nearly tripping over as she hurried to his door. she could see his figure through the window and she began to pound on the door. "open the door matty. it's me, please" he finally opened the door, they were face to face. they just stared at each other for a moment, like in those romance films, all teary eyed and in shock, mouths open, heavy breathing. she didn't know what to say, she didn't know how..but she had an idea, she took a deep breath and stared him right in the eye. "dear matty, it's your first day in rehab so i wanted to write you a letter to say how proud i am of you, you're going to get better I promise, i know you will cause you're so so strong. I don't know if i can visit, but that's why i'm writing these and you can expect more. I know you must be so afraid right now but..things work out, you know. even if it doesn't feel like it for a long time or even when it feels like it'll never be okay again. everything works out. i believe in you she saw his face drop, as she spoke a letter that she once wrote to him when he was in rehab. she looked down and gulped. looking back up at him slowly, she started to speak again, hear voice shaking. "dear...matty. i've been informed by someone at the rehab that you're getting better, not much..but they say you've made great progress since the check in. I can't wait to see you, I don't know when that will be but gosh, it's long overdue. we miss you here, you know. Matt, david, jennifer, lisa the crew..and me" *her voice was now breaking* "I miss you so much matty. I know I shouldn't be the one to be broken but I am without you. I feel selfish thinking of how "hard" it's been for me considering your position yet you're still remaining strong. that's always something i've loved about you. you helped me so fuckin much..but it pains me i didn't help you as much as i should've and maybe that's where things went wrong..not with you..but with us. but i want you to know you don't have put a strong upfront with me..because i care about you so so deeply. and i'm going to leave you, ever. i'm not going anywhere without you with me. any second you need me, i'm here..just like you have been for me. so many times i can hardly count. but you can doubt it, try and push me away because you think i'm going to leave. so it won't hurt as much when I do. but listen matthew, i'm not. cause even if there was a million reasons to walk away..you're the only reason i'll ever need to stay. I love...I love you matty. I don't know if I'll send this ever. but if you're reading this, you have and i want you so much and i'm going to be there when you get out. and i'm staying. but if I don't send it..then I didn't have the guts. and i'll truly regret it forever...courteney"

court: she looked up at him, his face confused and tears streamed down his face. "I never sent that to you...and I do regret it. I will forever. I should've told you"

Matty: there she was speaking. There he was crying, as she stood there reciting his letters. The letters that helped him get through it all. An unfamiliar one though as she read the last one blaming herself for us not working out and all these how nothing could get in the way. The sad truth is that they had time and time again. She broke her promises but here his again needing her more life itself she was his life his everything. " no, don't do that. Dont blame yourself courteney. " he cried even more while pulling her into the deepest and strongest hug ever. Truly never wanting to let go of her.. knowing soon that he will. She instantly wrapped her arms around him continuing to once again blame herself. She left him and it hurt like hell. But he always forgave her. Some may say thats why ive been hurt over and over but I say that it's because i love her. I've never given up. " we both know if I hadn't... if I hadn't fallen down the wrong path, maybe he chuckled Maybe we'd be together, and have a family. Or maybe not but you still would've been in my life and i'm sorry for everything. Now it's too late, it's too late for it all. For the hours and hours of wasting your time trying to fix me. I'm sorry for ruining your relationship, sorry that... that I'm not strong enough to fight anymore. For not,- for everything. I don't even know how im gonna tell the others all i know is in 6months. I'll be gone. No more me... no more you. The truth is w/o you i died a long time ago. Maybe im okay w death but being somewhere that doesn't have a you. Kills me even more. He finally got out got it all out.

court: she let him pull her in for a hug, instantly wrapping her arms around him. she hated herself for breaking the promise because she did leave him. she walked out, met someone else. and closed the door on them..well. if she was honest, the door was never fully shut or else she wouldn't of ran all the way down here to be held by him. she has always cared about him, and she always will. maybe that's why she cancelled her wedding..maybe that's why she can't get herself into a relationship for life. because there's a part of her that's not ready. and that's the part that didn't leave him. the part that still..loves him. the part that wanted to send him that letter so fuckin badly. she she'll forever regret letting the other part of her..the part that left him, the part that moved on..she'll hate that part of herself. but what's done is done, she was never going to leave him. and she meant it this time. she was staying in his warm embrace...until the day that it would be him leaving her.

Matty: "as he held her there in front of the door way " lets go sit down? " she wouldn't let go so he picked her up ankles wrapping around his waist he walked over the couch and they finally let go of each other for the first time since shed knocked on the door. As they sat beside each other in silence just looking at each other, tears still falling from her face he reached his hand out to wipe them " you're too beautiful to cry. " not even realizing he had said it taking it back right away " i..im sorry " no he wasn't.

court: he lifted her and they sat next to each other. the silence..was almost..nice? she'd never had anyone where she could just sit in silence with without it being awkward, and it was like the silence was speaking words of its own as they stared at each other, remaining to cry. she forced a smile when he said "you're too beautiful to cry" she let out a small weak laugh "yeah..well these wrinkles make me want to cry 24/7" she joked, and for a split moment, a happy spark was created again..like the spark they used to have

Matty: "oh stop. Seriously you're stunning, we both know how it feels to have our looks exploited in the media court... but you're Absolutely radiant. " he couldn't stop- its like complimenting her always made him feel at peace " if anyone looks old here pshh it's definitely me with my "ungroomed nails" he laughed nervously mocking the media.

court: "hey it's felt like a century since i got my nails done, you're not alone!" *she dramatically said shaking him for comedy purposes* "anyway..screw what they say. we know ourselves better than anyone...yeh they might have gotten one thing right" *she sighed, her eyes so sore and red like she'd just been punched all last night and today's crying she finally had no more tears, but she sympathetically looked up at him tutting and shaking her head* "but no matter what they say..you still look as handsome as ever". she saw him shake his head, obviously thinking she was lying. but she really wasn't. no matter how many people said how "bad" he's looked...she never failed to see his beautiful soul, beautiful heart, beautiful personality..and his beautiful timeless eyes. those traits never age, never change, and never die. "hey..i mean it" she said, placing her hand on his shoulder. she bit her bottom lip, and tilted her head she played with his bearded chin. "I've always liked beards" she laughed, and hugged him once again. she never wanted to let go.

Matty: she thought she thought he still looked good. His heart burst as they shared a couple of laughs. He sighed " how am I gonna tell the others? " he sighed

court: she looked up at, scrunching her lips up.."don't worry..i think the tabloids did it for you"..they glanced at each other and burst out laughing once again, cuddled up together. just like the good old days…

Matty: its been 30mins and they're still in each others arm. Not speaking just holding each other. It felt good, " hey court, you remember when that baby came on set all those years ago and we were sitting on the couch playing w him and you took your finger and made a motorboat sound with my lips and that poor kid couldn't stop laughing " he laughed at the thought... the entire time he thought about how they would play with their kid one day

court: hey that "poor kid" thoroughly enjoyed our motorboat thanks to me! plus I just wanted an excuse to..*she trailed off, fake coughing and rubbed her eyes* "remember um..when we were doing that interview and I said we've done it 100 times and everyone speculated that we actually were...you know" she started to awkwardly laugh

Matty: knowing what she was gonna say before she trailed off " if it makes you feel better, I wanted you to... I mean that little moment was just- everything "

court: "yeh..me too" she sighed, she couldn't feel sad about it because it was in the past but the thought that maybe if they had done it..it could of changed their whole future. and that's what hurt her most

Matty:as they both smiled at each other a phone began to ring... thinking it was his phone he stood up to go check realizing it wasn't he'd turned back watching her staring at her screen. He knew who it was.

court: she closed her eyes and gulped, sighing with exasperation. sucking in her top lip she held her phone out in front of her. she slowly turned around to matty. she stared at him..knowing if she answered it was like giving up matty. like in the movies when the person has to make a choice..only this wasn't a movie it was so so real. and each decision had major consequences. but matty knew..like always. so with tears in his eyes he nodded, giving her that beautiful smile she knew so well and he faded off into the kitchen. heartbroken, she let out two sharp breaths. scrunching her face up with her eyes closed. her breath was shaky, but she got herself together..and answered. "hi..yeah i was just..uh getting coffee with jen...yeah im on my way back home. yeah...harry met sally?" she felt her heart collapse inside her, her legs shaking to keep in the tears. "yeh.." gregorys place" sounds perfect..see you soon..." *she heard him say the sentence she was oddly longing he wouldn't." I love you hunny" she heard through the phone. she looked back into the direction of the kitchen, closing her eyes and she sighed. "yeah..i do too hunny."

Matty: as he faded into the background, he heard the phone call and its as if this last hour had just been thrown away. Hed lost her before time and time again but this last time he couldn't. She hung up, he walked back out. " you can go to court. If he needs you go ahead and leave its okay. You won't have to worry about choosing anymore. I won't be such a burden on your relationship anymore. "

court: she was shocked. why did he have such a fucking problem with the person she was in a relationship with, calling her? she understood the pain it must have caused him but it wasn't even for her either. to have to choose. "matthew...he's my partner. im not choosing because it's too late for choosing. im accepting. but you are not a burden on my relationship or me. but you saying that is"

Matty: I am though. Ive been told so, over and over. I know i texted you last night court I had spilled my guts to you. Why you never got it? It sent, so maybe he deleted the message? I've never had a problem with it. But he'll always have a problem with me.

court: "i-...you're saying he?" she trailed off, forcing an awkward laugh

Matty: " im.. im sorry i just- why wouldn't he ya know, you know what just here * he pulled out his phone showing her the text from the night before * " court, idk when or if I'll ever hear from you again. but i need you, you're the only one who knows rn. I didn't mean to start anything between you and your boyfriend. But i love you and right now i need you. I keep thinking about those letters you used to send me back in 97 and your words are the only thing that got me through there. So if you can,... come over? I love you. " when I didn't hear a reply back from you, i thought it was over. That i'd never hear from you again. When you told me you never got it, I found that off especially since last night the text had said that it had been "read"

court: her heart broke into a million pieces. she couldn't understand why johnny would do that to her..even after she was on the floor crying about how he was going to die. how could anyone do that...delete a message from someone that was going to die. someone that she cared so much about. her breathing started to get heavy. she felt betrayed. "i-" she couldn't get out a sentence. "matty I don't-" she could hear a million voices in her head, she didn't know what to say or do, she couldn't concentrate. she felt a migraine coming on and- "SHUT UP" she said, screaming at her thoughts and she slumped onto the floor putting her head into her hands

Matty: she was stunned. My heart ached for her. She fell to the floor crying. Instantly he grabbed her holding. " hey i'm sorry shhh i didn't mean- i love you court its okay c'mere " he picked her up once again, carrying her over to the couch. " hey look at me " she looked at him. Her eyes were red and swollen " do I have to tell you again, beautiful girls don't cry. Were okay court its okay just please please don't cry. I hurt when you cry, I always have "

court: "anyone can cry matty" she sighed, as she fell onto the sofa with her hands in his. "doesn't matter who you are...everyone has shit" she looked up to him, her eyes were so sore he could hardly see him now. she rested her forehead on his shoulder..now putting effort into holding his hands. she could stay like this forever...even though johnny was on his way home...and she was supposed to be leaving. but she didn't want to...ever.

Matty: "youre right, im sorry.. it just.. hurts me to see you cry" gripping her hands tighter " I dont wanna see you sad... for these... last few months I have the only happiness will be you. So cheer up beautiful and smile. And if... if you need to go i understand. No hard feelings I promise * he smiled at her dumbly while putting the spare strands of hair behind her ear and wiping her soare tears. he really didn't want her to leave. Ever but if she needed to she should.

court: she sniffled and slightly shivered as he moved her hair, but as he wiped her eyes, he slowly closed them gently with the tip of his thumb. she began to lean into him and got comfortable. "maybe I could stay..for a little while...do you have any movies" she looked down, not wanting to sound too enthusiastic

Matty: so relieved. Shes staying, she chose him over him. His heart fluttered " you must of forgot who i am, ofc i have movies silly. *thinking back* remember we used to curl up and watch movies all the time?" He smiled at her " how about you choose something? You've always had better taste" he chuckled

court: she stared at the box of disk and breathed through her nose and out. "uhhh" she said, trying to sound wide awake as possible. "what about... sleepless in Seattle . that was always our favourite...you know, when we were curled up together back in the good old days" looking up to him, she smiled softly at him

Matty: " ya know... every once in a while I still watch that movie... when I miss you" * he put the movie in she curled up into him like she never had before knowing she was tired and would eventually fall asleep..

court: she got about 10 minutes into the movie...when slowly her eyes closed. she tried to fight them open, but his warmth and comfort was so overpowering, she couldn't help it. and maybe..maybe sleeping was just a way for her to stay without feeling bad. because truth is, she didn't want to leave. because once she left...it wouldn't be the same. this was a dip a toe into the pool of what they once had...and even tho she so desperately wanted to dive in..she couldn't because johnny was there too and she didn't want to hurt him. because she did..she did have such strong feelings for him. whether it was love or not she refused to hurt him. but she didn't want to hurt matthew either. perhaps this was just a lose/lose situation...she was maybe even hurting herself in whatever she did too.

Matty: she looked so.. little in his arms. He could die now. Right now and would be the happiest guy in the world. To have seen her one last time. She was asleep, gently laying her down, kissing her forehead " i love you" falling asleep to.

court: even though the next morning, after they'd fallen asleep on each other, she thought she would never see him again, when she got "home" her and johnny had a quick screaming match and of course she won. he finally accepted that she needed to see him and be there for him and that she was going to continue to see him without johnny or with him. and johnny didn't want to lose her, so he accepted it. she could tell he wasn't happy, but she didn't care. she wasn't happy either, she was losing someone so important to her any day now. but over the next few months that though slowly was drifting from her mind. they had long drives together, days out and their beloved movie nights. for a moment..they seemed so happy. that they'd forgotten it was all going to end. but one night, as courteney spent her usual movie night with matty, she didn't know it would be the last one.

( 6 months later )

court: she lifted herself up from the couch, his arm falling from her faintly she turned to him "want to some popcorn?"

Matty: "orrrr how about we go out tonight? Like to the beach and maybe setup a picnic and maybe look at the stars" * something about tonight he really wanted to live it out.

court: as she made her way to the kitchen, she stopped immediately in her tracks and slowly turned around to look at him. "y- you want to go to the beach?"

Long chapter, weird ending. Yes. But the beach chapter is probably my favorite one so be ready.

The writers


	4. Chapter4

court: she lifted herself from the couch, his arm falling from her faintly she turned to him "want to some popcorn?"

Matty: "orrrr how about we go out tonight? Like to the beach and maybe set up a picnic and maybe look at the stars" * something about tonight he wanted to live it out almost subconsciously knowing that it would be his last*

court: as she made her way to the kitchen, she stopped immediately in her tracks and slowly turned around to look at him. "y- you want to go to the beach?" she asked in a sarcastic tone

Matty: " yes- yes I do." he said with confidence " I mean why not? it's a beautiful night we can curl up on a blanket, we can eat, we can watch the sky... cmon it'll be fun! And you can change into one of my t-shirts to be more comfortable? "

court: she looked at him, squeezing her eyes together suspiciously at him while biting her lower lip. "okay..beach boy let's go. shall I buy you a bucket and spade first" she joked, grabbing her keys

Matty: " haha " he laughed mockingly "you're cute, did you wanna change first so ur more comfortable? " knowing exactly what he was doing

court: she looked down at her clothes she was wearing jeans a tight-fitting black shirt. She looked back up to him. "yeah..can I have that one...you know the one I always liked on you" she smiled, twirling her hair and laughing at him, knowing full it was his favorite shirt too

Matty: "you want.. my favorite shirt? Ya know... he said * as he pulled it off * you're the only one who id give it to * pulling it off all the way handing it to her... " lemme grab another shirt, you change and we'll head out. " he smiled at her

court: she took his shirt and watched him walk off. she slowly sighed and she held it tightly in her hands smiling at it..oddly like it meant something special to her. she shook that off though and went and changed in the guest room.

Matty: as he pulled on the other shirt.. he walked downstairs to the door waiting for her when she walked out in nothing but his shirt, some shorts shed brought with her and her hair in a bun he couldn't help but check her out... choked up by her absolute beauty. Now with his shirt, she looked so... small almost drowning in clothing- she noticed his staring so he spoke he laughed nervously and spoke " you know what- keep the shirt " he smiled

court: "what..it looks better on me then??" she laughed lightly punching his arm as they headed out the door

Matty: " stop fishing for compliments " he laughed "... no cmon before I change my mind about you keeping it " he put his arm around her shoulder as they got in the car

court: as they drove they laughed, noticing that their hands were slighting touching every time she took her hand off the wheel. she looked at him briefly with the few moments she had, but he looked at her the whole time. she was nearly jealous that she couldn't stare at him the whole time. but she quickly shook that off as she turned into the beach. "Uhm" she awkwardly laughed pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. we should park here"

Matty: he stared at her the entire time in the car. Tearing up a little from time to time knowing she would no longer be the one thing on his mind " yea lets do it " as she parked he took his blanket and picnic basket out of the car walking along the sand finding a perfect spot for the two to set up camp. as he finished up he took a seat watching her walk back to where hed set up she looked so beautiful he couldn't stop staring ar her " what?" She chuckled as she struggled walking in the soft beach dirt finally sitting down

court: out of breath, she laughed as they planting herself down next to him. she tried to watch the waves crash in, but it was too dark and the water blended in with the night sky..still the sound was as beautiful enough. she turned to matty, who instead of watching the stars he so desperately wanted to see...he was staring at her. she smiled softly at him and started to laugh. "honey, I'm pretty sure the stars are that way" she pointed up at the sky, a huge smile on her face.

Matty: he laughed at her comment " Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? Because you're sensational... I'm gonna miss this face "* he said as he lifted his thumb to her cheek his voice sounding a little shaky at the thought... of- never seeing her again*

court: "what? called me beautiful?...I'm sure you have a couple of times" she joked, knowing full well it comes up in every conversation between them. her face fell flat though when he said he was going to miss her face. it felt like a compliment at first, you know when you and your friends are hanging out and it's coming close to the end of the day and you all are like "ahh gonna miss you"...but her mind fell back to a dark subject. one she's been trying so hard to forget..maybe she even did forget because she was having to much fun. or she just didn't want to remember. she bit her lip sadly, looking straight into his eyes. even the night couldn't manage to take the power his blue orbs, they still shine bright, almost giving light to the dark beach. he lifted his hand to her cheek and as soon as he made the connection, it sent shudders down her spine. she looked down as he did so. she couldn't sit here and let this get sad. they'd been having so much fun lately, managing to push this huge sad weight off them, and she wasn't going to let that end tonight. she was 99% sure they didn't have to even worry about this tonight, so as his hand moved up and down her cheek slightly she caught onto it and jumped up slapping that smile onto her face again. matty looked up at, confused and slightly annoyed that she had moved away from him, but he soon had a huge smile on his face as she pulled him up and they started running along the beach together, throwing sand at each other. soon they even ended up knee length in the water, well Matthew was about knee length as her shortness made the water come up to her hips. they were splashing and just having the time of their lives.

Matty: as she splashed him w water once again " that's it!" He laughed picking her up over his shoulders pulling her inside the water she screamed " haha I've got you... always " he yelled as they continued to swim around in the water it's though as time stood still the two of them in this world, no one else. As he pulled her out of the water he held her she held him standing in the water holding each other " wanna eat? All this " goofing around " is making me hungry !"

court: he dunked her under the water, which was her fault for sneak attacking him with water. but the sudden dunking was a shock and she splashed in a panic. "haha I've got you, always" he said as he grabbed her from under the water and pulled her close to him. she caught her breath and stared into his eyes, running her hands through his wet hair. she felt so much tension as they stared right at each other. holding each other...wet and stuff. but he quickly noticed how tense it was getting so he changed to subject to getting food. she sighed as he grabbed her hand and started to trail them both out of the water, she felt like she could've been there for hours, just floating in his grip. staring into his beautiful blue eyes, but she slightly relieved it didn't lead to anything..because at that moment she felt it could've.

Matty: they held hands as they walked back to their little picnic area, sat down, pulled their food out. They had packed a couple of sandwichs some fruit " I'm sorry we couldn't have packed something... more extravagant for this adventurous night? " he chuckled

court: "are you kiddin'?! this is perfect! when have an adventurer's ever had an over the top meal anyways" she laughed setting out the sandwiches. "besides...it means we have more time to watch the stars. just like you wanted"

Matty: " you're right " he watched her pick up a strawberry dragging it to her mouth he grabbed it from her " thank you haha " plopping it to his mouth she looked at him in disbelief " that's for taking my shirt " he laughed as he picked up another one handing it to her " see, I'm nice "

court: her shocked face turned into a grin as he goofily laughed at himself, clearly thinking he was funny. "you're just mad it looks better on me" she said, confidently snatching the strawberry he was "nicely" giving her, popping it into her mouth.

Matty: " it looks better is definitely an understatement " he smiled " you've always been able to pull off anything " he continued to look at how adorable she looked as they wrapped up they put the food away moved it and settled into the blanket cuddling as the cool breeze from the beach hit them she curled up into him

court: as they cuddled up in the blanket, she felt most of the warmth coming off him. she laid her head against his shoulder. she then started to giggle as she lied back on her back, looking up at the stars. "look" she pointed up laughing "I can see the shape of a rabbit"

Matty: " uh-huh " he answered not looking. He didn't even want to look at the stars he wanted to look at her. The excitement in her eyes, her hair blowing in the slight wind, the warmth of her body " hey court... promise me something? "

court: she was scanning the sky, giggling like a child trying to find shapes within the stars when her head slowly turned to matty, without moving her body as he said "promise me something". her right cheek was now in the sand as she looked into eyes, "anything matty"

Matty: " don't... don't forget about me... I mean I already know your answer but. Just don't? Because life moves on but no matter know where I go I will never forget about you. You've been the most most beautiful person in my life for as long as I remember. my happiness was generated from your happiness. I. Love you Courteney you know I always have but I always will. and please do whatever makes you happy. For as long as I've known you. You've put others first but give yourself a break every once in a while because you deserve the world. no, you deserve more than that. "

court: not knowing what to say, she scrunched up her lips and held onto his face. "I am never..going to forget you" their faces were so close, but she knew she couldn't do what she was dying to do. it wouldn't be right..it wouldn't be fair on him or her..or johnny. fuck! johnny...she'd forgotten all about their date night tonight. she had left her phone in the car and she knew it was probably blowing up with messages and phone calls by now...but matty was right. she had to put herself first..her happiness. and right now, for maybe the first time in years, she was properly happy. she looked away from him and looked at the sand instead. she moved her hands around his face, trying to print every detail of his skin in her hands, in her memory. she had no idea why this night felt so strange..but she didn't want to ignore it. looking back up to him she bit her bottom lip. "matty..what am I gonna do?" she sighed, she didn't want to think like this. she hadn't thought of a life without Matthew in months, it was like she had never left him. like all those years without him didn't even exist anymore, because she couldn't remember the years without him. maybe she didn't too. and even though Matthew would say "you've done it for years, you can do its again" he would never realize that in all those years without him, she always knew she was missing something. and now that missing piece has been slid into place...but at any moment it could fall back out never to be found again. and that scared her more than anything else.

Matty: " you're gonna be okay " he smiled teary-eyed " you've got... Johnny, you've got coco you've got your family to take care of so don't spend to much time worrying about me. you have no time to be sad" at this point he was crying... there face inches from each other, he wanted to kiss her knowing it was wrong

court: she shook her head and trying not to let the tears fall but she couldn't stop it. "I'm gonna miss you every day, you know that right? god," she sighed, looking up to him, "what am I going to do for entertainment now, loser" she slightly laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Matty: "I know you already know, but I love you beautiful I love you more than anyone I've loved every. You're going to find a new me, you're gonna court. I won't be a weight on anyone's shoulder anymore... * he sighed *

court: she grabbed onto his shoulders and shook him "stop it" she said, slightly annoyed. "you are not a weight on anyone's shoulders. stop saying that" she took her hands off him and slightly inched herself away from him. did he not see that she was hurting? he didn't mean to but he continuously made her feel bad for losing contact with him, like it all just her fault?! when it takes two to make something work and then he constantly talked about how much of a burden he was. and it drove her mad. she didn't want to be selfish, she wasn't the one fucking dying but it's ok for her to hurt. and she did, and him saying stuff like that didn't help

matty: she looked annoyed " I'm sorry court- I just I can't help it I mean... my whole life I've had people look after me making sure I hadn't fallen down the wrong path. Here I am now dying... but I have something to give to you... * he pulled out a letter " you used to write me letters.. soo here's one for you" she took it from him and proceeded to open it and here's what it said *

Dear Courteney, yes I know you're sitting next to me but theirs no way I can tell you all of this. Surprised I was even able to make this letter one page. Anyways, here you are sitting in front of me as beautiful as ever. Ya know when I call you beautiful and all I hope you know how truly and deeply I mean in it, everything about you your hair your eyes your porcelain skin. Your entire being just radiates and sometimes I have no idea what to do with myself. Not only is your beauty on the outside its 100% on the inside as well. I've never met someone so strong and so genuine. someone who will go above and beyond for others. You light up every room you walk into I know you know how in love with you I am. I think at this point everyone does and in some other lifetime, we will be together. You know me better than I know myself and honestly, I think I know you better than you know yourself. I know all of you. And I'm I'm sorry- Courteney for all the pain I've caused you over the years I mean that I really do. if I could take back all that hurt I would in a millisecond. You know this entire time maybe I've made you feel guilty about not being together these last couple of years but I know its been on me too- I was just so afraid.. that if I reached out you wouldn't want me anymore and that just something woulda happened. The way I regret it all. I'm so sorry. Seeing coco these last couple of months I never realized how much of a little you she is. She's grown up so well, you were always meant to be a mother and here you are being the best one in the whole universe. As for Johnny, he's tremendously lucky to have you, he is a great guy. It does Hurt, how he pushed us apart all those years ago, and why he hates me so I will never know. But I do know one thing I love you. Sure you maybe someone else's but you'll always be mine. You'll forever be my best friend, my world Courteney and you will never understand how much I'll miss you. Ty for making my world sm better and these last couple of months.

P.s you'll be beautiful always no matter how old you get. I know you got some work done a couple of years ago because it was hard keeping up with it all. But I hope you realize you only get hotter with age. you're perfection and when you feel down know ill to be right there saying " you're beautiful "

court: tears. tears streamed down her face as he read out the note to her. she was in absolute shock, her breaks quick and sharp. her tears were a mixture of utter sadness and heartbreak with happiness. the way he spoke, she wished she could hear it forever, so gentle and soft. he shook while he read it, his breath also shaken so she held out onto his hand to calm him. she couldn't even comprehend everything he was saying to her, she didn't want to believe that their journey might come to an end anyway now. by the time he had finished, she didn't know what to say. what to do. he read out the last sentence "I'll be right there saying, "you're beautiful". he looked up to her, his eyes also bucketing tears. he wanted her so say something but she was taken back. so many thoughts rushing through her head all dying to jump out of her mouth but it was like she was frozen. above all her thoughts she heard something screaming "SPEAK. SAY SOMETHING COURTENEY" but she couldn't… he looked sadly uncomfortable that she didn't say anything but as she folded the note the thought of kissing him circled her head. she couldn't do anything more no matter how badly she wanted to, she had to know that there were lines not to be crossed, even though in moments like this she wishes she could just sail across them and fuck everything else. a small smile started to break out on his face like a rash. small and sudden and then huge. it was contagious. suddenly the pair that were crying their eyeballs out were now laughing like children in a park. after a few minutes she took a deep breath through her nose and out, looking out to the sea. "are you scared?" she asked after a few moments of complete silence.

Matty: " are you scared," she asked "am I scared? No, I don't think I am. Am I sad? Just a little yea I mean I'm leaving all these millions of people that have supported me over the years they're gonna wake up one-morning seeing headlines and stuff and well I don't know I won't be here to see their reaction. My family, I won't know how they're gonna react but I love them so much. Jen and shwimmer and Leblanc and Lisa- I don't even know how they're gonna go about this and you. You're gonna be sad. I guess I'm causing more sadness, aren't I? I wish- I wish I can just tell the world one last joke make them laugh one last time. So no I'm not scared "

court: "why don't you...tell them one last joke. get yourself out there. make your final mark on the earth" she said, nudging him and smiling. "maybe we could..like I don't. do an interview together. the number of jokes you'd make in a 15-minute interview would leave the world something happy about you forever in their memory, something the fans can smile at when they just feel like crying"

Matty: "I think if we did an interview together the world would go crazy. Let's do it, me and you together again " he pulled her in once more they were face to face " court I'm about to do something. I know I shouldn't and I know its gonna be wrong but i... I need to just this once * she knew what he was gonna do and somehow she knew she had to aswell so she nodded her head in agreement " okay " she whispered he pulled her in there lips touching. He thought she was gonna pull away but she didn't she fell right into his kiss. It felt more right than anything ever has in his life as they pulled apart he put a strand of hair behind her ear. Surprisingly mo awkwardness between us.

court: "well..." she said, taking a deep breath. "I don't know who you've been kissing since lately but you've gotten a lot better!" she joked squeezing his arm

Matty: "I guess you could I've had some practice with all the girlfriends I've had. you've always been my favorite. " he chuckled

after about another hour of cuddling and soft accidental kisses " hey court what time is it? "

court: she tore her eyes away from his for the first time in hours to look at his phone. "shoot its 2 am" she quietly said, looking back up to him laughing. they were inside

Matty: " oh my god?! we've been here for 4 hours, where did time go? We should head out I bet Johnnys furious? " not knowing that it would be his last night

court: she knew it was coming, she didn't want to leave but he was right. the phone that was lying in her car all these hours on her and Johnnys date night is probably not even working anymore..she didn't even want to think about how many times he called and texted her. "yeah, we probably should" she sadly sighed, knowing war would break out when she got back. as she tried to stand up but her legs were dead that she fell right back down. she sighed in pain, looking up to him helplessly.

Matty: " first you steal my shirt, kiss me, bully me into the water w you what more could you want woman" he joked she put her hand out to help her up instead he picked her up and she let out a small scream throwing her over his should " cmon beautiful " as they walked to the car...

court: she groaned on the sand as she held out her hand to him. all she wanted was a pull up and she would've hobbled herself over to the car but instead Matthew whipped her off the sand and gently threw her over his shoulder "not what I had in mind" she screamed while he did so. he evilly laughed as he dunked her into the car. "you know, someone's gonna think you're kidnapping me" she laughed. "yeah, because when someone kidnaps someone they make the victim drive" he sarcastically laughed as he hopped into the driver's seat. she sighed, her legs were still dead from sitting on the sand for too long, but she didn't even have to anything because he jumped back out the car and walked to her door. "I'll drive" he smiled. "it's the least I could do for kidnapped victim" she laughed while they swapped places. she shushed him up as he started to drive. the drive home was amazing, they laughed the whole journey home. as he pulled up at her house, the laughs faded into small smiles. "here's your stop". she couldn't pull her eyes away from him. for some reason, she felt this magnetism keeping her in the car. like it was wrong to leave. "hey so um, I'm serious about that interview thing... I feel like it would be nice. and it gives us one last tv memory...you know." he smiled at her and nodded, "I'd love too" her soft smile broke into a smile showing every tooth in the mouth, she scrunched up nose smile. he was the only one who could make her smile like that he had done so for years. they stared at each other for a few more moments, not awkwardly...they were just gazing. their minds somewhere else but their hearts close. he then started to speak, thanking her. she nodded and looked towards the window of her house then quickly moved to peck him on the cheek. she didn't want to kiss his lips again..the beach kiss was so special she didn't want to replace it...at least not tonight. she didn't know what could happen the next night though. she leaned back, the two smiling like huge dorks at each other. "goodnight matty" she smiled, hopping out of the car and walking towards the house. she had a huge smile on her face, her mind replaying the whole night on loop as she walked to her door. when she got there she put her key in and just before turning it she looked round to him, flashing him one more smile. he stayed for a moment, she could barely see him but she could make out that he was smiling back. and then drove off…

He pulled up in front of Courtney's house. Your stop he smiled. " ty court for tonight and for that and just for everything you've ever done for me... "I love you beautiful " before he knew it he was home. looking at himself one last time in the mirror, for the first time in years he was glowing, happier than ever. It was all because of her he thought as he layed down on his bed, taking a deep breath and shut his eyes... forever

What'd ya think? Last chapter will be posted tomorrow! Also can we just talk about the kiss... it hurts us how much we miss them. - the writers


	5. Chapter5

taking a deep breath and shut his eyes... forever

news about Matthew perry spread like wildfire. Everyone was in shock not quite understanding what was happening. The headlines all those months ago believed to be false. But true all along. All of his family, and closest friends attended his funeral. Person by person someone spoke about matty at his funeral remembering him for being the source of everyones laughter. It was her turn last but not least the best for last it was courtneys turn everyone in the room knew she was closest to him. As she stood up making her way to the podium in tears she began.

court: she made her way to the podium, david schwimmer lightly tapping her back she walked past him. when she got there she kept her head down. she hadnt spoke to another human other than johnny for 5 days...5 days ago she lost him. and even then, she hadn't talked to johnny for long. her breath was shaky, she didn't know how to string two words together never mind a whole sentence. she took her speech out of her pocket and tried to unfold it when it fell on the floor out of her hand. her hands were just out of control. she sighed in frustration leaning onto the podium her hands in her head. the room was in complete silence. nobody knew to come and get her down and tell her she didn't have to worry, or to just let her collect herself..so nobody did anything. after a minute or so, which seemed like 5 hours for her, she took a deep breath and looked up. she didnt need her stupid fucking speech. everything she needed to say was in her heart.

...i've known matty for 25 years of my life. sometimes I forget what my life was like without him. from the moment we met..hes made me feel *she looked towards johnny who now was starting to squirm uncontrollably, but she didn't care* he made me feel more safe and loved and...important than anyone else in the whole world. he.. *she remembered back to the beach when he read out his note to her sometimes I think I know you better than I know myself it played in her head* he knew me so well..that we were both so sure he knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. he knew when I was upset even when I didn't. when I was stubborn and didnt want to admit I was sad, he always...always got it out of me. made me talk about it, never let me bottle anything in. because he knew I would just explode and he didn't want that. and sorry its ironic to say..but it would of killed him to see me like that. because he- he cared about me so much. never a day went when we were in each others presence

that he didn't tell me how beautiful I was. seriously..it was getting to the point where I had to ask him to stop because he would ramble on like a broken record she let out a small laugh, and as she did the crowd of people let out a small chuckle. what were doing right now, laughing. matty had a gift. a gift that he made everyone around him laugh at no matter what he said or did. he was so good that it became his job. he made millions and millions of people around the world, and as shown today every generation, he made us all laugh. and I know that he's going to continue to make us all laugh because tv is a gift. TV lets us have the ability to turn back the clock and see what once was. young ones today and young ones in 50 years ago, they'll be able to have stitches in their sides by laughing too hard at him too. I cannot explain how hard IveÂ laughed over the years with him, he truly was the only person to make me laugh in my darkest times..but he was also the only person to be

there for me in my darkest times. every. single time. he was there. whether I was drunk, emotionally rambling or being a sarcastic complaining bitch...*she looked at the priest after saying bitch* sorry..sorry jesus. *she sighed, thinking about him* he was just always there..and sometimes I wonder how he even handled me..but I know why he did, something that will always stay between us. truth is though..I should of been there for him more. through his drug addiction, I wrote him notes at rehab for his first 3 check ins..but I got busy. and by his 5th time I hardly checked up on him. this was after friends...we were slowly..*she looked up at the roof, tears slowly spilling out of her eyes* drifting...it was just life taking its course, I got busy and he...he had his problems. we managed to get a few scenes together on my tv show and his incredible heartwarming show, go on. it was an incredible show and if you haven't seen it, you must. the show shows my favourite side of matty

so many of you saw his comedic side, the funny man, the class clown. and I love that matty..but what most of you so greatly missed was his amazingly caring supportive side. go on was just a shred of that. his drug and alcohol addiction campaign and so many other things he did for people, and of course as I mentioned..his hidden care for me when I was a mess. looking back, I wish to god I could've been there for him, but I can't change the clock, however..one thing worked out for the best, just not under the best circumstances. 6 months ago, I saw that...*she fought back the urge to breakdown in front of everyone* I saw that...article. *the crowd of people awkwardly shifted knowing exactly what she was talking about* and I rang him...for the first time..in years! *she wiped her eyes* I rang him to smack talk the articles..I spoke to him straight away like I'd never lost contact with him, thats what matty did. he made it so easy to talk, even when things were awkward or hard. *she

remember numerous fights they had had* he made it so easy to talk to him. and thats just who he was. anyways..what we built over that 6 months was oddly stronger than anything we had during the whole 10 years of friends...which is saying something because even back then he was my number one person, even when I didn't want to admit to myself or him...but he always admitted it to me. he always said court, I-love *held her hand to her face, now sobbing into it trying to collect herself* court i..i love you, you are my personâ. and I'd just smile..and say thank you? *she laughed annoyed at herself looking out the window of the church* but now...I finally was able to say the words to him. i love you matty. I said them, and I was able to be there for him. I..ME! I was there for him. and he was so grateful, he was so so grateful. this is truthfully the most fun I've ever had..these past 6 months. my dying best friend wasn't..the best situation. *she awkwardly laughed, mattys humour showing

but...what he gave me in his last 6 months was more than anyone has given me in my whole life. and I hope..that maybe this time...I was there enough for him too. that I finally made it up to him. that I finally showed him that i'm going to love him..forever. *she tried to fight her sentences through her sobs, looking up to the roof* because matty, if you can hear me...i love you matthew. so maybe, maybe we the must hilarious man on earth didnt get to tell one last joke with me next to him on tv..but he gave me the best life I could've dreamed of. the night before he...he died..*she shook her head in disbelief* he told me he wanted to see the stars. so we drove to the beach and there we spent a night of laughing, crying, more crying and even more laughing. I asked him was..was he scared? and he said...*she looked up at everyone* he said no...no. he wasnt afraid...what he was most concerned about was everyone else...see? theres a pattern. he put everyone before himself, he told me

that I needed to put myself first...but now when I think about it, so did he. it takes someone real courage to not be afraid of death, but it takes someone with a huge heart to be afraid to hurt the people in death..however...he said he didnt want to lose me...that he..he was afraid of me leaving. gosh..can you believe it? *she laughed in pain* the man didn't even fear death!* but thats the connection we had..it came before everything. he made me promise i wouldn't leave him..that I wouldn't forget him because he was so..so afraid to lose me. and god..I was so afraid to lose him so I made that promise. and for the first time in my whole god forsaken life...I stuck to it. but he was afraid to and he faced his fears..and left. for nights I've cried since, knowing things in this world will never be the same again...god i wish i could hear his voice again. *her face scrunched up as the tears started to stream more and more, her whole face red* the way he said hello in that singsong way

when he answered the phone. the last few days have been so incredibly hard missing him, I know I now...I now f- *she held herself back from swearing* I now know what his pain was when I left him all those years ago for my own life when he was the one who always fixed my life. God, I was selfish..but he never let me blame myself. never. he couldn't stand me hurt...people say you don't know what you have until its gone. but do you want the truth? the truth is you knew exactly what you had you just were selfish enough to think you had it forever, that you'd never lose it...I know I never thought id lose matty. maybe I never let myself think I would because I didn't want to admit that I...*her face now changed to a shocked expression, tears still streaming. afraid? afraid. God that word will never sound the same again. im going to miss him so much. his hair, his clothes..*she ruffled his top from their last night that she was wearing now and brought it up to her nose, sniffing it*

his smell...and his beautiful, beautiful blue eyes. our night on the beach, I ran my fingers all

over his face..and now every now and then...i can still feel it on the tips of my fingers. even for a brief moment, he was so so handsome. the most handsome man to ever walk the earth and im not just talking about the younger him. he was handsome for as long as I've known him and even before that..and his smile...that smile. incredible..and the only thing more incredible than his smile is when he was smiling at me. it made me feel so warm...so happy. it broke my heart when i turned on the tv that..*she took a deep breath remembering back to it, her breaking down and screaming, holding her heart in pain on the floor* that day, and saw those...articles. I wanted to ring you again and complain about them with you..god i just want to be with you again matty. you're my best friend...you were my home..you are still my home. I hope you're looking down and if your cracking jokes up there I hope

every once in a while you've let us hear them cause gosh...I always acted like I hated them but I loved them so so much and I know you knew that I did because I laughed harder than anything when you told them. it broke my heart to lose you matty, but I promise you I did not leave you alone this time because I told you I would never do that again..because when you went on your journey, apart of me went with you. and apart of you, *she hugged herself, imagining back to when matty was wearing the shirt she had on now...* apart of you is with me...so thank you matty. for everything youve done for me. maybe one day we'll stare at the stars together again. *she stepped back from the mic* looking up once more before she walked down podium saying to herself "maybe in another life, it will just be the two of us on that beach once again. I love you forever matty always "

We have never cried so much ( the writers ) this genuinely hurt us from the bottom of our hearts. We hope you've enjoyed our first fic! Should we write more? Also we apologize for making us all heart w this chapter. tysm


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